Culture, identity, relationships, belonging, death, and the complexities of the art of living are some of the most important themes that pervade the pages of Michelle Zauner’s gripping memoir “Crying in H Mart”. Here, we take a deep dive into the layers of varied themes in the novel
Crying in H Mart | Themes
RELATIONSHIPS
The theme of the mother-daughter relationship is at the heart of Michelle Zauner’s memoir, Crying in H Mart. The mother-daughter relationship is profoundly shaped by cultural differences. Zauner’s mother, Chongmi, is a first-generation Korean immigrant who is deeply rooted in Korean traditions, language, and cuisine. In contrast, Zauner grows up as a second-generation Korean American, influenced by American culture. This cultural gap sometimes creates friction but also serves as a bridge for understanding and connection. As is common in many mother-daughter relationships, there are clashes between Chongmi’s traditional values and Zauner’s desire for independence and a more American lifestyle. These conflicts highlight the tension between generations and the struggle to find common ground. Food serves as a powerful symbol of the mother-daughter relationship. Chongmi expresses her love and care for Zauner by cooking traditional Korean meals. These meals become a form of communication, a way for Chongmi to pass down her cultural heritage and express her affection.
IDENTITY & BELONGING
The theme of identity and belonging is central to Michelle Zauner’s memoir. Zauner, a biracial individual of Korean and white heritage, grapples with questions of identity throughout her life, and this theme is beautifully woven into the narrative. From an early age, Zauner becomes aware of her mixed racial identity. Growing up in America with a Korean mother and a white father, she navigates the complexities of straddling two different cultural worlds. This duality influences her sense of self and her understanding of where she fits in. Zauner’s memoir explores the tension between her Korean and American identities. She describes feeling like an outsider in both cultures at times. In America, she often feels “othered” because of her Korean heritage, and in Korea, she is viewed as a foreigner because of her American upbringing. This cultural duality is a source of both richness and inner conflict. Zauner’s mother plays a central role in her exploration of identity. Her mother’s strong connection to Korean culture, especially through food, music, and language, shapes Zauner’s early experiences.
FOOD & CULTURE
Food holds profound significance throughout the narrative, serving as a vehicle for exploring cultural identity, memories, and the mother-daughter bond. Food is a means through which Zauner reconnects with her Korean heritage. The memoir is filled with descriptions of traditional Korean dishes, such as kimchi, bulgogi, and banchan. These foods not only represent her cultural roots but also evoke a sense of nostalgia and belonging. Preparing and sharing these dishes becomes a way for Zauner to honor her mother’s legacy and keep her Korean identity alive. Cooking and sharing meals are central to the relationship between Zauner and her mother, Chongmi. Chongmi’s culinary skills are a source of pride and comfort for her daughter. They bond over shared meals, and the act of cooking becomes a form of communication and love. Even in her mother’s absence, Zauner finds solace in recreating her recipes and reliving the flavors of her childhood. Food is intertwined with Zauner’s experience of grief over her mother’s illness and death.
Throughout the memoir, food also serves as a powerful symbol of cultural identity and a bridge between generations. Zauner’s descriptions of Korean dishes, family recipes, and her visits to H Mart illuminate the role of food in preserving and transmitting cultural heritage. Food becomes a way for her to connect with her mother’s memory and heritage. Zauner reflects on her struggle with the Korean language. Her mother’s fluent Korean contrasts with Zauner’s limited grasp of the language. Language becomes a barrier that separates her from her Korean identity and heritage, emphasizing the importance of communication in shaping one’s sense of belonging. The memoir documents Zauner’s journey to reconnect with her Korean heritage after her mother’s death. Her visits to H Mart, her exploration of Korean cuisine, and her efforts to learn more about her mother’s life in Korea all reflect her quest to find a sense of belonging and a deeper connection to her roots.
The memoir portrays the emotional weight of preparing meals during this challenging time. The hospital food contrasts starkly with the comforting, home-cooked Korean dishes that symbolize her mother’s love. Food becomes a way for Zauner to grapple with her loss and the void left by her mother’s absence. Throughout the memoir, Zauner embarks on a culinary journey to explore Korean cuisine more deeply. She seeks out authentic Korean ingredients and learns traditional recipes, attempting to recreate the flavors of her childhood. This exploration of food becomes a form of self-discovery and a way to connect with her mother’s culinary legacy. Food plays a role in Zauner’s healing process. Preparing and sharing meals become therapeutic acts, allowing her to confront her grief and find a sense of closure. The act of cooking and savoring familiar flavors helps her navigate the complexities of loss and identity. Food is not merely sustenance; it is a conduit for exploring heritage, expressing love, processing grief, and connecting with cherished memories. Through the lens of food, the memoir beautifully illustrates how the sensory experience of taste and aroma can evoke powerful emotions and illuminate the intricate layers of one’s cultural and personal identity.
MUSIC
The theme of music is central to the novel. Music is not only a form of artistic expression but also a powerful tool for processing emotions, connecting with others, and preserving memories. Music plays a crucial role in Zauner’s journey of self-discovery and identity. As she navigates her Korean American heritage and her grief over her mother’s death, music becomes a means of self-expression. She discovers her own voice and artistic identity through her music, particularly as the musician behind the moniker Japanese Breakfast. Throughout the memoir, music is a way for Zauner to cope with grief and intense emotions. Her mother’s battle with cancer and eventual passing are emotionally challenging experiences, and music provides an outlet for Zauner to process her feelings and find solace. She uses songwriting and performing as a form of catharsis. The memoir also vividly portrays how music is intertwined with memory. Certain songs and melodies trigger powerful recollections of Zauner’s childhood, family moments, and her mother’s cooking. These musical memories serve as a means of keeping her mother’s presence alive. Music serves as a thread that weaves together themes of identity, heritage, grief, and creativity. It illustrates how music can be a deeply personal and transformative force in one’s life, allowing individuals to express themselves, find connections, and navigate the complexities of their emotions and cultural heritage.
DISEASE & DEATH
The themes of disease and death are intimately woven into the narrative, shaping the author’s personal journey and emotional landscape. The memoir opens with the revelation of Michelle Zauner’s mother, Chongmi, being diagnosed with terminal cancer. This terminal illness serves as a catalyst for the events in the book. Zauner vividly portrays the shock and distress that come with such a diagnosis, both for her mother and for herself. The narrative delves into the emotional turbulence experienced by both mother and daughter as they navigate the challenges of Chongmi’s illness. The impending loss of her mother to cancer is a looming presence throughout the memoir. Zauner grapples with anticipatory grief, the painful process of mourning a loved one while they are still alive. She chronicles the emotional rollercoaster of hope, despair, and acceptance as she witnesses her mother’s deteriorating health. As Chongmi’s condition worsens, the author reflects on the memories she shares with her mother. These memories often center around food, family, and cultural traditions. Zauner’s recollections of happier times contrast starkly with the harsh reality of her mother’s illness, highlighting the poignant impact of disease on cherished relationships.
The memoir portrays the role of the caregiver, as Michelle Zauner takes on the responsibility of caring for her mother during her illness. This caregiving experience deepens the bond between mother and daughter, even as it brings its own challenges and moments of vulnerability. After her mother’s death, the memoir delves into the aftermath of loss. Zauner portrays the complex and often unpredictable nature of grief. She shares the profound impact of her mother’s absence on her sense of self, her creative journey, and her understanding of her Korean heritage. Disease and death prompt reflections on the legacy of a loved one. Through the act of preserving her mother’s recipes and traditions, Zauner keeps her memory alive. The memoir underscores the enduring influence of a parent on a child’s life, even after they are gone.
MOURNING & RECOVERY
The narrative delves into the complex and transformative journey of mourning and recovery. The memoir provides an intimate portrayal of the grieving process. Michelle Zauner navigates the stages of grief, from initial shock and denial to anger, bargaining, depression, and ultimately acceptance. Readers witness her raw and honest emotional responses to the loss of her mother, Chongmi. Anticipatory grief, the sorrow experienced when a loved one is still alive but terminally ill, is a prominent aspect of the narrative. Zauner grapples with the impending loss of her mother, which brings a unique set of emotional challenges. She reflects on the difficulty of saying goodbye before death and the rollercoaster of emotions that ensue. Writing and music serve as therapeutic outlets for the author. Zauner’s creative pursuits, including her music project Japanese Breakfast, become vehicles for processing her grief. She shares how art allows her to externalize her feelings and find solace in self-expression. This theme underscores the healing power of creativity and the role of art in catharsis.
Exploring her Korean heritage and connecting with her mother’s culture also play a significant part in Zauner’s healing journey. She embraces Korean cuisine, and traditions, and even returns to Korea to better understand her roots. This reconnection with her cultural identity is portrayed as a source of comfort and self-discovery. Michelle Zauner’s narrative captures the universal experience of loss while highlighting the individuality of the grieving process. Ultimately, the memoir conveys that healing is an ongoing journey marked by acceptance, self-discovery, and the enduring presence of love.
